Connecting With My Ideal Client

“Who is your ideal client” is a question I get asked a lot.  If I am being honest in my answer, the truth is that it is the person who shows up.  When a person sits on my couch, across from me, they become the bravest person I know.  They answer all my questions thoughtfully and honestly.  And if you ever sat across from me for 45 minutes, you would know I ask a lot of questions.  They cry.  They say the truth, even it is really difficult, embarrassing or even really awful.

Once I have a clear understanding of intentions, of their thought process, of their feelings, of the background that led to their thought process, I have most of the puzzle pieces to explore and consider the puzzle we are putting together.

Most of the people who come to see me don’t initially have the words to answer my questions.  If they knew why they were having intolerable feelings or uncomfortable experiences or disturbing memories or unrelenting questions, they likely would not seek an appointment in the first place.  That is why I love my job so much, because figuring out why, how and what to do with it all is beautifully overwhelming; watching clients trust themselves, accept themselves, forgive themselves, and try to do their best with whatever skills and reserves they have is not just rewarding for me.  It is a feeling of awe and amazement.

The first session is the hardest for them.  It is a huge responsibility on my part to make it less hard, and more comfortable, and safe.  Perhaps even good.  That is easy for me, because, you know, it’s my ideal client.